Team ... aw, who really cares?

*What you are about to read is a cinematic review. Each movie is critiqued based on its rating-pending (PG or R), Genre (Comedy or Thriller), the acting, the score, the plot, and the overall quality of the movie. Hence, just because there are explosions, blood, or you think George Clooney/Megan Fox is "hot" does not mean it's a good film. Or does it. ... You be the judge. *

‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse' (2010)

CAST

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Michael Welch, Jackson Rathbone, Dakota Fanning.

Director:  David Slade - "30 Days of Night," "Hard Candy"

Written by: Stephanie Meyer - "Twilight," "New Moon"

STORYBOARD

Bella (Stewart) and Edward (Pattinson) have been reunited, but they once again find themselves surrounded by danger as Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire who continues her quest for revenge. In the midst of it all, Bella is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob (Lautner), knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching and hungry "newborn" vampires on the prowl, Bella is confronted with the most important decision of her life: Team Edward or Team Jacob.

THE DISPOSITION

Here's my "beef" with these movies: I don't mind that they play off the romance like Romeo and Juliet. I don't care that everyone is unnoticed about the vampire's crazy different eye colors. Heck, it doesn't bother me how terrible half of the acting is in these films (I expect it now). But when a group of bloodthirsty, killing vampires are on their way to tear apart the entire main cast of the film, and instead of caring about that, you force me to care more about choosing between one guy sucking my blood and another one letting me pet him for the rest of my life... I HAVE A PROBLEM!

The issue with most sequels and trilogies these days are the changing of directors for each film. Yes, it might be the same writer, but each director has his own style of creating the whole big picture. And when you try to get three different "experts" to tell their story of it, it really doesn't feel like one big epic story. More like three different versions of the same repetitive love triangle.

Yes, yes, yes. ... I knoooow the books are better than the movies. I'm sure they are. And I'll give the film some credit. It did have some suspense to keep you "twilight crazies" on pins and needles. And an incredible hour-and-a-half of hype for a 60-second fight scene.

But, overall, there is just one more thing I have to say for this critiqued review: Team Edward!! That's right, I chose my side! Petting that "dog" gives me the creeps.

Actually, the whole thing does.

"I LOVED IT!!"

Teenage girls and cougars. Yeah I said it. It's true too.

2 out of 5 stars